Is God Sexist?

Is God sexist? wow totally not. His judgement on a man is often based  by the mans relationship with his wife. God doesn’t always say ‘great job on all those works you have been doing for Me’ He sometimes says:

 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.   Malachi 2:13-14

The Lord set a woman judge over all Israel, even the Levitical priesthood.  Lets follow who judges had authority over.

The first judge was Moses, it says his authority was over the law and statutes of God. Ex 18:13-16, this is at a time when the priests were already established in the temple service. Moses put leaders over groups of people to judge the easy things, but the hard things were brought to Moses as final judge. Ex 18:25-26. After Moses came Joshua, then when Joshua died, the people sinned even more and they got a succession of judges again and each time they repented.

Othniel was a judge,

And when the children of Israel cried unto the Lord, the Lord raised up a deliverer to the children of Israel, who delivered them, even Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb’s younger brother.  And the Spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he judged Israel…   Judges 3:9-10

Ehud was a judge, Judges 3:12-15

And then Deborah:

And the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord, when Ehud was dead. And the Lord sold them into the hand of Jabin king of Canaan, that reigned in Hazor; the captain of whose host was Sisera, which dwelt in Harosheth of the Gentiles.  And the children of Israel cried unto the Lord: for he had nine hundred chariots of iron; and twenty years he mightily oppressed the children of Israel.

   And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time.  And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment. Judges 4:1-5

She was not only judge over all Israel, she prophesied in the Spirit of the Lord.

If you think about it for a bit this Deborah, just as Moses and the other judges did, sat as God’s judge over all the people of Israel at that time. The common people, the very poor, but also the very wealthy, the highly esteemed, the businessmen, and priests and Levites. That doesn’t sound like a male chauvinist God telling men that they were superior to women and should never listen to them.

The Lord does use women, and they do speak and prophesy in church, but the only recorded instances in the bible that I found were unmarried or widowed women speaking in the temple. But a married woman Priscilla spoke in church. Deborah who was married, judged all of Israel, but it says she ministered outside of the temple. The temple and its service requirements are found in the Old Testament and indicate that only men could be Priests serving in that office, however Jesus gave no such commandment to the New Testament Church.

And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time.  And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.  Judges 4:4-5

Palm trees are kinda cool.

Lets talk for a minute about wives and husbands

A lot of Christian men love to quote the scripture that says:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.   Eph 5:22  

But I seldom have heard the rest of that paragraph quoted:

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Eph 5:21

 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;    Eph 5:25

Interesting thing about that scripture above. When Jesus went to the cross and laid down His life He never said (like some husbands do): “if you weren’t so dumb I wouldn’t be on this cross”, “If you hadn’t messed up so badly I wouldn’t have to be here”, “this is all your fault”, “why do I have to put up with you”, “you are so weak that I have to do everything”, “I should just slap you”, “if you would have just listened to me I wouldn’t have to miss my golf game to die for your sins”, “I could be sitting on my throne in heaven instead of giving up all my comfort and time to spend with you and the kids,”  “I am much too important to be bothered by you”, or anything remotely like that. No, Jesus washed feet, fed, clothed, walked miles out of His way, always reaching out in love to His bride.  He came not to be served but to serve.

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.   1 Tim 5:8

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.    Col 3:18-19

It would be pretty easy to submit to a truly Godly man. Many wives have for years submitted to their husbands even though they are arrogant and selfish men. Jesus will judge between the spouses and I think a lot of men are going to be surprised on that day.

Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:   1 Peter 5:2-6

Jesus did not give himself for the church by coming down here and condemning us, reviling us, speaking poorly of us, guilting us into doing anything, manipulating us, bossing us around, exercising His authority to cause us to serve Him, or ridiculing us. Jesus once even exalted a fallen woman to a higher stature than a man that was attempting to follow all of Gods commandments and trying to be an exalted man in the temple.  

And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat.  And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,  And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.  Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.  And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.  There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.  And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?  Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.  And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.  Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.  My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.  And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?  And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace. Luke 7:36-50

If you think about that above interaction for a minute, you might notice that in front of all Simon’s friends who were there Jesus said to him, “thou gave me no water for my feet…you gave me no kiss…you didn’t anoint my head..” how embarrassing for Simon to be publicly rebuked like that, especially while he was so filled with pride that he could easily condemn the woman that loved Jesus.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.   1 Peter 3:7

Most men I’ve met who are truly pursuing the Lord will tell you that they ask their wives for a confirmation before stepping out on risky endeavors, knowing that Jesus will confirm the word with their spouse as well as them. If there is disagreement then they wait on the Lord and ask Him to confirm His will through both of them.

The Lord Jesus does not ask us to always submit to ungodly men, or women, to do all they say. When He says submit He does not mean be a slave, obeying them in everything, He says:

Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. 1 Cor 7:23

A side note that may help bring into context the word submission is the example of the Lords command to children:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.   Eph 6:1

that says “In the Lord“, now if parents tell their child to steal for them or kill someone for them is the Lord wanting them to do that? Of course not! Is that “In the Lord?“ Of course not!

We are to follow the Lord and submit to authority:

Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,    Titus 3:1

Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat:  All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.          Matt 23:2-3

And he charged him to tell no man: but go, and shew thyself to the priest, and offer for thy cleansing, according as Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.    Luke 5:14

Except when it goes against God’s will:

The high priests, rulers, and elders arrested the disciples Peter and John for preaching Jesus:

But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye.   Acts 4:19

And Daniel found himself in a position of having to obey God or the King:

Then they came near, and spake before the king concerning the king’s decree; Hast thou not signed a decree, that every man that shall ask a petition of any God or man within thirty days, save of thee, O king, shall be cast into the den of lions? The king answered and said, The thing is true, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, which altereth not.  Then answered they and said before the king, That Daniel, which is of the children of the captivity of Judah, regardeth not thee, O king, nor the decree that thou hast signed, but maketh his petition three times a day.   Dan 6:12-13

Moses was raised in Egypt under Pharaohs daughter and submitted to Pharoah  until he saw the Lord:

By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.    Heb 11:27

We are called to submit to one another in the fear of God.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Eph 5:21

  When I was thinking the other day about women and their position in the Lord and His kingdom, I kind of got a burr under my skin about those disciples that will sit on twelve thrones judging Israel and how come there wasn’t a woman among them? Luke 22:29-30  As I was sitting there getting mad the Lord said to me, “hmmm, you don’t see King David or Moses sitting there do you?” I said, “no” and then I wondered where they were in heaven. He said to me, “you don’t know where the women are either, or what they are doing”. I just kinda let it go after that, I don’t know what women do in heaven, I do know enough about what they don’t do that I’m not worried about it anymore.

“For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.”     Mark 12:25

Now another area that a lot of Christian men like to quote and teach in the church, is in the area of sex with their wives. most often quoted:

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.            1 Cor 7:2-4

we must read this in its entirety to grasp what Paul is saying,

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.  But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.   1 Cor 7:1-6

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Cor 7:7-9

To begin with Paul says this is not of commandment (1 Cor 7:6). Some men that take this scripture to themselves to satisfy their fleshly desires can utterly abuse their wives. Jesus did not come to earth and save people and give them spouses to be used anytime they desire. Do we make Jesus a pimp?

Chapter 7 in Corinthians has many things to say about marriage, I would encourage you to read all of it. And please remember that when we see something in the bible that says people should treat us in a certain manner it is not something we force or coerce them to do, it is something we can pray for, but it is only  selfish desires that interpret it as something due us that we must insist people do lest we berate them.    We should read these as instructions on how we should live, not how we should make our husbands or wives act. If you have a burning sexual desire that must be quenched right away by the submission of your spouse and they indicate they are not up to it right then and you cannot contain and begin to coerce them, then I would say that you have a problem with your flesh. God is not against sex, He created it but it is in what spirit you come together that matters. If it is the wrong spirit, it becomes abusive and you will have a difficult time containing it. 

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.  And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.  I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:  But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.   1 Cor 9:24-27

That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:  1 Thess 4:4-5 

con·cu·pis·cence noun \kän-ˈkyü-pə-sən(t)s, kən-\

Definition of CONCUPISCENCE

: strong desire; especially : sexual desire

— con·cu·pis·cent \-sənt\ adjective

  when I looked up concupiscence in naves topics of the bible it says:

CONCUPISCENCE

See LASCIVIOUSNESS

—Nave’s Topics

las·civ·i·ous

adj \lə-ˈsi-vē-əs\

Definition of LASCIVIOUS

: LEWD, LUSTFUL

— las·civ·i·ous·ly adverb

— las·civ·i·ous·ness noun

Origin of LASCIVIOUS

Middle English, from Late Latin lasciviosus, from Latin lascivia wantonness, from lascivus wanton — more at lust

That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God. For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:   Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you:  Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.  For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.  1 Peter 4:2-6

For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.   Jude 1:4

Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.  But ye have not so learned Christ;  If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:  That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;  And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:19-24

Before you toss this book and say ‘they want to do away with sex’ Let me say again that God is not against sex and He doesn’t condemn us to un-passionate sex either.

Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:   1 Peter 1:22

All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.  Prov 16:2

When you come together what spirit is it in?

I go into the matter of sex more in depth in another section, but let me also say that a great many outwardly appearing righteous people are going to be judged not by their marvelous works that they did in Jesus name, but by how they treated their family.

Some have asked me, what about that part about women should remain silent in church?

Once when I was married and I was reading the part that everyone said doesn’t apply anymore, the part about the wives being silent in church, (the original language is translated wives, not women, and that scripture says they should ask their husbands, so Paul is referring to married women)

I try to see why the Lord says what He does, what is the purpose and what is He showing me about this? I could not find anything in the law that said women not permitted to speak & are commanded to be under obedience to their husbands, nothing about subservient women except in the Temple, women were not allowed to be Priests. And if i remember right they had to sit in separate areas from the men.

Here are some things I discovered when praying about if women have to be silent in church and in the Temple. The Lord showed me personally several things about myself and my motives and my pride.

The scripture so many are upset about says:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.  And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.  What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?  If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord. 1 Cor 14:34-37

I was sitting in a church service and I felt a really strong word in my spirit, I knew that the Lord wanted the word to be spoken, and I could hardly sit still, but I kept remembering that scripture up there^ so I just kept quiet. It seemed like a long time but it was only a minute when a man 2 aisles away on the other side stood up and spoke the exact thing I was going to say! Exact words! That was a bit humbling.

 Then I thought about a lot of the wives that spoke a lot in the church services I attended, most where in churches where a lot of men didn’t participate much. In the women’s bible study time the women often complained about how their husbands weren’t as spiritual as they should be, that they weren’t being the spiritual head of the house like they should. Then I thought,  what if they just followed what Jesus said in that scripture, and didn’t try to teach their husbands, even though they did sometimes know more than them, and gave their husbands some space to grow in grace. Some churches are so full of women speaking that the men get intimidated because their wives do know more than them, and they don’t want to get embarrassed or do something wrong, so they never speak up at all. At home when there is a problem instead of the wife having all the answers, (even if she does in a particular situation and even if she is right), what would happen if she stepped back and let Jesus show her husband Himself? The husband would then be able to grow himself. He may make some serious mistakes at first, but so did you probably when you first started this journey.

Is God sexist? Not at all. I believe that scripture about wives keeping silence in church is about walking in love one toward another. When it says it is a shame for wives to speak in the church, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t love women as much as men, it doesn’t mean they are less than men.It doesn’t mean women can’t speak in church, the Greek word for church in that scripture (1Cor14:34) is translated Jewish Synagogue, Strong’s Concordance word #1577. Women were forbidden to speak in the Temple and Jewish Synagogues, Priests could only be unblemished men.

I come from a long line of strong women on both sides of my family and i notice that sometimes i can act like the one who used her strength to dominate people and especially her husband my beloved Grandfather who loved Jesus and some say died early to get away from my Grandmother who did not love Jesus but loved to use scriptures to verbally beat him up.

One time I was in another church and the wife of a man who was highly regarded in the church stood up and shared about a dream and word from the Lord she said she had received. The dream and word she shared was not according to anything scriptural and it was really out there. Instead of people saying she was off in her doctrine, all of them looked at her husband, who was somewhat like my Grandfather who wanted to keep the peace in their home rather than try to show her she might be wrong about anything. The people in church muttered, ‘wow he should have explained this dream to her showing her how it was unscriptural, he must believe it too!’ I don’t understand why, but the shame or embarrassment was on the husband not on her. When a woman speaks it is often a reflection of the husband, and when a man speaks it is often a reflection of the wife. I don’t know why that is, but it is.

  If the Lord has given a wife a great amount of the Holy Spirit and wisdom but her husband doesn’t have as much knowledge as her and she teaches in the church pulpit, people often look down on her husband. Not so for single women.

  If a man commits a crime and it is in the papers in town, his whole family is affected by it. People may look down on or suspiciously at his wife and children. If it is a serious crime people may feel sorry for the family members, but often with a bit of reserve, thinking, “I wonder if his son is just like him, if he is a murderer also?” or “surely his wife knew he was like that, she must have been covering for him”. When we sin it is reflected on our families, it is just how this world is. The wives are called to be under the covering of their husbands in church, but they are just as vulnerable when their husband says something really outlandish or unscriptural in church also.

Since the scripture about wives being silent in church ends with “if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home…”   It made me wonder if Paul wrote that because some wives were interrupting the service a lot asking questions, not just a few. If a man was asking 50 questions during each service, a brother could gently take him aside and let him know he could talk to someone after the service anytime and ask as many questions as he wanted, thereby not interrupting the flow of the Holy Spirit and the order of the service. A brother in the Lord couldn’t walk up to another mans wife with the husband standing there and say that to her, it just wouldn’t be right, it would humiliate her publicly and no one gets to take another mans wife out of service to talk to her somewhere else- thats creepy and bossy.

Also frankly there is an issue i have never had the courage to bring up in church but will here. I have often sat in church services in the back to be near the nursery in case i was needed. So many times I was not able to hear much of the service because some of the wives would often sit back there and talk to each other through the whole service, frequently it was elders and pastors wives or worship team members and their spouses, like they did their work and already heard the sermon and dont really care about others sitting near them who cant hear over their whispers. Its been mostly women doing it. I don’t know why men don’t do that very much. I’m sure they do in some churches. The times I have noticed men doing things like that though, is guys watching the game on their phones, but at least they use earplugs so I don’t have to hear it except for the occasional YES!! uttered when they forget where they are. 

It really bothered me that  I couldn’t hear the service when people were talking through it. Not because I am better than those women but because it was very hard for me to get to a church service at all because I had little children and I really, really, wanted to hear what was being said in the service, having young children is difficult.

It seemed that meetings I go to outside of church had better order and courtesy than some I go to inside the churches. A really good example is Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, there is not a “leader” pastor, there is not a couple elders, there is no usher. A bunch of drunks in recovery can make their meetings orderly and edifying with none of those “staff”. I have never been to an AA meeting where I could not hear, or didnt have a turn to share, or that was disorderly, or to one with anyone sitting in the back and talking through the whole meeting. If a bunch of drunks in recovery can do it surely its possible for churches to do it, i say this as a former drunk.

 If any thing be revealed to another that sitteth by, let the first hold his peace.  For ye may all prophesy one by one, that all may learn, and all may be comforted. 1 Cor 14:30-31

Sometimes the Lord will use married women speaking in church for various reasons. There is no such custom of wives being silent in most churches here in America, and I’m not saying there should be, I just wanted to see what would happen if I tried it. I wanted to try life by doing everything it says in the new testament even if it made no sense to me. The order in the church is for the working of the gifts of the Spirit and the orderly working of all members of the body. The order of service in the new testament was given to enable all a chance to participate as the Lord led them. Anna the Prophetess in the gospels (Luke 2:36) shows us that single women did speak in the Temple.

  Anna the prophetess who evangelized in the temple by proclaiming that Jesus was the Son of God, (Luke 2:36) would be prohibited in some American churches. Would we quench the Holy Spirit in Philips daughters and tell them we won’t let them speak what the Lord tells them to  because they are women?

And the next day we that were of Paul’s company departed, and came unto Caesarea: and we entered into the house of Philip the evangelist, which was one of the seven; and abode with him.  And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy.    Acts 21:8-9

Jesus also anoints women for work in His kingdom, not only men.

Jesus Himself, when He was risen from the grave, told the women to go tell the disciples to go to Galilee. Jesus told the women to give instructions to the men:

 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.  He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.  And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you.  And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word.  And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.  Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me. Matt 28:5-10

And in the book of Mark it even says that the Lord upbraided them for not believing the women. Even for not believing the born again previously-sinful-demon-possessed-woman-mary-magdalene who obeyed Jesus when He told her to instruct His male disciples:

   And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great.  And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment; and they were affrighted.  And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him. But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you.  And they went out quickly, and fled from the sepulchre; for they trembled and were amazed: neither said they any thing to any man; for they were afraid.

   Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.  And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept.  And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not.  After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country.  And they went and told it unto the residue: neither believed they them.

   Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen. Mark 16:4-14

 Are we so arrogant that we are those that tell the Lord who He can use to do His marvelous works?

I sometimes think that by trying to follow our rules in church (which are mostly different than the ones in the bible) these days that we have made it very hard for the Holy Spirit to speak at all. When I let the Lord walk me through things without presuming to already know what scriptures mean He shows me things in myself that have been preventing me from hearing Him and prevent me from being the type of person He wants me to be. I have to throw out all the rules i’ve been taught by those who have been in church a long time and unknowingly have added many of the traditions of men into their rules for being a Christian.

In some churches I have noticed a rigid routine where only a pastor or guest speaker speaks then a person reads some scriptures and some people sing. In other churches there is an opportunity for people to speak, often during worship, if they are led to by the Lord. There is often very little opportunity for that though, and mostly I think that the church is afraid that someone might stand up and say something that is wrong. That’s in the bible too, it says it will happen. And it says what to do when it does. Instead of taking that chance though, I think pastoral staff has decided to just not let anyone speak, especially if the church doesn’t know them personally. This is called quenching the Spirit. I wonder if Jesus, or one of His angels in disguise came into our churches today, I wonder if they would be allowed to say anything at all. Instead of following rules that we think are right, we need to get back to listening to Jesus each day, even Sundays.

The next scripture I would like to look at is:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. Titus 2:3-6

Often people read this and think that women should be staying at home and have no life outside of diapers and making sure that the husbands dinner is on the table at 5, a lot of men I have met like to interpret it this way. I believe it is very important that a woman stays home and raises the children, I think we can see the result in our society today of children that were raised in day cares or home alone by themselves. It is not always possible though, and I don’t mean because families need bigger incomes to buy more expensive houses and toys so that both have to work always. We are not under the christian law: “the man works, the woman stays home”. I think it is optimum for the whole family if the wife can stay home and raise the children but it is not always possible and the Lord knows that and can make perfect allowances for when the mother must be out of the home.

 There is a scripture passage in the old testament that I love, about a virtuous woman, you’ve probably heard it. Too often its been used to guilt women into submission to un-Godly men who force them to labor like slaves, taking care of everything in the home and never having the husbands meals late or cooked improperly or his shirts un-ironed.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.  She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.  She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.  She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.  She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.  She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.  She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.  Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Prov 31:10-31

  Reading that can be really discouraging to a lot of women because men often expect that kind of performance from their wives. I had heard it in church sermons and ladies bible studies for years without ever noticing though, that it says she gave a portion of food to her maids, which means she had MAIDS! She was able to get the materials she needed, and she had MONEY to buy that vineyard, she was a successful independent business woman!!. Her husband was well known and he praised her, and her children didn’t deride her, they called her blessed. Maybe her husband taught the children to honor and esteem their mother? In many evangelical churches when people spoke of things concerning women I had only heard words like grovel, silent, doormat, submission, work fingers to the bone, things like that. I’ve seen books, podcasts, classes, video’s on how to be the perfect Proverbs Woman, so it was quite a shock for me to realize what the passages about her actually said!

  When you read the whole passage, the description of the “Proverbs Woman” is nothing similar to expecting a wife to do everything with nothing but a roof over her head and with no help. It is nothing like a man who expects that even though his wife is working to help pay the bills she should still take care of all the household chores and still have “his” dinner on the table when he says to. The man that has the attitude that he is important because he works outside the house and his wife is his servant responsible for doing everything except working outside the home should be ashamed of himself. He should also hire a maid. And in truth men like that would often do better to have their “servant-wife” go into the workplace because if she can run the household by herself she will have no problem in the workforce . She would probably end up with a better job than a man that thinks women are property or servants for them. However the reason that the woman in such a case as that should probably still stay home to raise the children, I believe, is, would we want a man like that raising children?! No! Misogynists aren’t born that way, they most often treat women the same way their fathers treat them. And for a woman to submit constantly to an un-Godly husband shows her sons and daughters that its ok to treat women like that and implies that God is ok with misogyny, which He isnt! The example everyone should be following is Jesus and how He treated/treats women.

There are many times that women use their position as wives in just the same wrong manner as men. My paternal grandmother was one of the most domineering women in the whole earth and she regularly humiliated my grandfather and insisted she make all decisions in their marriage. It was really sad and abusive. However I am using this section to point out the place of a woman in Jesus eyes because I have run into so many men and women in churches that disparage women or make them less important than a man, or literally forbid women to speak in church.

  Here is a look at a couple that the apostle Paul met, that shows that the wife is just as important as her husband in Jesus. It never talks about the husband Aquila working in the Lord and his wife being back at home darning socks for him & baking dainty cookies. It says “they” on every occasion.

And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome:) and came unto them.  And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers. Acts 18:2-3

And Paul after this tarried there yet a good while, and then took his leave of the brethren, and sailed thence into Syria, and with him Priscilla and Aquila; having shorn his head in Cenchrea: for he had a vow.  And he came to Ephesus, and left them there: but he himself entered into the synagogue, and reasoned with the Jews. Acts 18:18-19

And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus.  This man was instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John.  And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly. Acts 18:24-26

Priscilla, as much as her husband, was instrumental in helping a man that was mighty in the scriptures and already instructed in the way of the Lord, to have a better understanding of the way of God. That is a serious ministry.

Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus:  Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.  Likewise greet the church that is in their house…  Romans 16:3-5

So if Priscilla spoke in the church in their house, and expounded the way of God more perfectly to Apollos, a man not her husband is that different from a woman instructing a man in an expensive American church? I don’t think so.

The churches of Asia salute you. Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house.           1 Cor 16:19

Eve did eat the apple in the garden and gave it to Adam also, but Pilate could have listened to his wife and not been the one to rule that Jesus should be crucified,  Matthew 27:19. Pilate said he washed his hands of it, but they couldn’t crucify Jesus without Pilates permission, so how clean were his hands really?

  Another issue I have noticed about women and submission to husbands is that sometimes it seems that many US evangelical churches are only willing to extend the grace Jesus purchased for us on the cross to men as if women must stay under the curse of the law while they themselves are set free from it to walk in liberty.

When Adam and Eve listened to the serpent and disobeyed God in the garden of Eden God said that the serpent and the woman and the man would be cursed and he explained how it would affect each of them. to the woman He said:

 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Gen 3:16

Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:  That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith. Gal 3:7-14

Jesus redeemed both women and men from the curse, lets stop putting others in bondage instead of encouraging them to walk in the liberty of the Lord which He purchased at great cost.