Taken by Force/ Rape

One of the things that happens when we are raped is that we feel guilt somehow, like we must have done something wrong, or we deserve some punishment. No matter how many times my friends or my therapest would tell me its not your fault I didn’t believe it. Inside I felt a guilt that was deep, thinking I must have done something to deserve it. I searched in the law of the old testament what God thought about it to be sure. God does not blame us for someone else taking advantage of us either.

But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die: But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:  For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.      Deut 22:25-27

He showed me that He felt that way even if they just cried in their hearts. Matt 5:28 shows us that Jesus judges us by the thoughts of our hearts. Sometimes we are too frightened or ashamed to scream, so with great distress we endure the horror of the abuse silently. Sometimes if we are too young to know it is wrong and are abused by someone that is older that has deceived us, we feel guilty too. My therapest said, it is not your fault, if the same thing had happened to your child would you blame them at all? If what had happened to me happened to my child or grandchild I would not blame them at all. My Heavenly Father does not blame me either.

… and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage.        Ex 2:23

And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;  And I am come down to deliver them…        Ex 3:7-8

Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter.  Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.  And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see. Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!  Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee.  Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these.    John 1:44-50

Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee…    Isaiah 43:4

For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens;      Heb 7:26

Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.                      John 13:23

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,      Eph 2:4

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.  Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.        Isaiah 49:15-16

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.       Jer 31:3

here is a scripture that I found that made me realize how great His love for us is even before we knew Him

And say, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto Jerusalem; Thy birth and thy nativity is of the land of Canaan; thy father was an Amorite, and thy mother an Hittite. And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all. None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born. And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live.             Ezek 16:3-6

when I read that passage in Ezekiel, I pictured a great big God walking by and commanding the child to live with a loud voice, but instead of that He showed me a picture of Him with tears in His eyes and great compassion, reaching down and gently picking the baby up and holding it in His arms with such love I have never seen before. With weeping, and speaking gently to the child saying, live, yes live. His heart was broken, both at the things they had done to the child and the things it would have to endure in the future, crying with mercy and prayer, waiting for the day when He could receive the child into heaven Himself, finally safe forevermore.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,  To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.   Luke 4:18-19

And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan hath bound, lo, these eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the sabbath day? And when he had said these things, all his adversaries were ashamed: and all the people rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by him.   Luke 13:16-17

Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away.             Isaiah 41:9

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32

But Israel shall be saved in the Lord with an everlasting salvation: ye shall not be ashamed nor confounded world without end.    Isaiah 45:17

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.  Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought.  For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.    Isaiah 41:10-13

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.    Isaiah 40:11

…I will love them freely… Hosea 14:4

Jesus showed me that He knows what it is like to be held down against your will. He showed me that when they went to crucify Him they had crucified lots of people before that and that the people always fought back against them. They didn’t just lay there to be nailed so cruelly to the cross. So they always had several men, one holding each arm and leg down to crucify them. He knows what it feels like to be held down against your will.

He knows what it is like to be afflicted and full of sorrow:
And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;   Ex 3:7

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.   Isaiah 53:3

Jesus knows what it is like to be despised and rejected. He knows sorrow and grief. He knows what it feels like to be not esteemed. He came down here to know exactly how it feels to be us, so that when we went through our pain and afflictions He could comfort us in real love, not just empty words of sympathy.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.  He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.  And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Isaiah 53:4-9

He knows what it is to be wounded and bruised, chastised and whipped. He knows what it is like to be oppressed and afflicted, He knows prison and judgment, He knows how it is to make your grave with the wicked, to be counted a sinner. He went through all of that so He could help us when we were abused.

Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.  He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.  Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. Isaiah 53:10-12

He knows what it is like to feel forsaken of God.
And when the sixth hour was come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour.  And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?   Mark 15:33-34

It says despising the shame, He knows what shame feels like. We don’t have to feel weighted down by shame anymore. We can give it to Him.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.   Heb 12:2

I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting.  For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.  He is near that justifieth me; who will contend with me? let us stand together: who is mine adversary? let him come near to me.  Behold, the Lord GOD will help me; who is he that shall condemn me? lo, they all shall wax old as a garment; the moth shall eat them up.      Isaiah 50:6-9

Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.  For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.  For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.       Isaiah 54:4-6

That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:  But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;      Eph 2:12-14

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;  2 Cor 5:17-18

A lot of people that were abused when they were younger grow up and become promiscuous, they feel they are already worthless, and will never be ok, so what does it matter? Sometimes without knowing why, they feel very strong lust. Jesus can set us free from the things that were put upon us when we were abused, and also clean us from all the things we have done as a result of it. He can forgive us, make us clean inside, and give us a clear conscience. He can deliver us from spiritual attachments that came during our abuse, spiritual attachments that make us think it is us that wants to do promiscuous things. A spirit of lust causes someone to think they want to do sexual sin really badly, then it causes them to sin, then it blames them. We hear: ” You really want to do this…” then a compulsion arises in us until we sin and then we hear: “I can’t believe you did that… ” And when its happening we say is something like: “I really want to do that”, then, “I can’t believe I did that”, then, “I am so terrible, I am such a…”

Sometimes when I was a child I used to sit on my front porch and wish I lived in the house down the street. My life would be so much different then. I hated myself and everything about my life. I remembered what my therapest once said to me, “if it happened to your child or grandaughter, the things that happened to you, and she grew up promiscuous would you understand? would you blame her?” I couldn’t blame her, I would only love her, because i knew it was what was done to her that made her that way. The Lord sees our hearts, He sees our regrets and He sees when we wish we could be different than we are, He sees when we cry because we can’t stop doing what we are doing, that we can’t change ourselves no matter how many times we try.

One time when God spoke of the Children of Israel in a certain place He said:
They will not frame their doings to turn unto their God: for the spirit of whoredoms is in the midst of them, and they have not known the Lord.    Hosea 5:4

And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him,  And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,    Luke 8:1-2

And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.  And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.  Matt 4:23-24

Once a long time ago I read a book called (I think) “seeing through a mirror cracked” I liked the book a lot and wish I hadn’t lost it so I could properly quote it, but one thing stuck with me forever from that book. It said that when we see ourselves through the reflection of the world we are looking through a mirror cracked and the important thing is that we look at ourselves in God’s mirror instead. That we find out what He thinks of us, how He sees us.

And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat.  And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,  And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.  Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.  And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.  There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.  And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.  And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.  Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.  Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.  And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.     Luke 7:36-48

When I gave my life in desperation over to the care of Jesus He showed me an astounding scripture, it was quickened, nearly jumping off the page into my heart. Before I read it I never felt that Jesus would love me, really, tolerate me yes, but love me?

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.   John 15:9

It is easy to believe that God loves Jesus, greatly loves Him. Jesus said as His Father loves Him, that is how He loves us.

That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;  That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,  May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;  And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.     Eph 3:16-19

… as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.  But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. 1 Cor 2:9-10

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.   Eph 3:19

Whether you were abused as a child or when you were older, violently or non violently, often there is a great fear of being abused again i wrote a short blog post about finding safety in Jesus~  https://littlesanctuaryministries.home.blog/2019/06/22/a-queen-and-her-knight-in-shining-armour/

In my journey to healing I often heard some hard questions like, why did He allow it to happen if He is such a big powerful God? I cannot answer that, for only He knows these questions, but I have found some scriptures that gave me some understanding and some peace.

My parents weren’t christains at that time so I wasn’t covered by His protection:

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!    Matt 23:37

And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it,  Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.  For the days shall come upon thee, that thine enemies shall cast a trench about thee, and compass thee round, and keep thee in on every side,  And shall lay thee even with the ground, and thy children within thee; and they shall not leave in thee one stone upon another; because thou knewest not the time of thy visitation.   Luke 19:41-44

Sometimes I wondered if it was a punishment from God, but He showed me that He is not like that, there are things people do to each other down here that never entered into His heart…

And they have built the high places of Tophet, which is in the valley of the son of Hinnom, to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire; which I commanded them not, neither came it into my heart.      Jer 7:31

Jesus spoke of the world and the unclean spirits that are in it, we live in a fallen world.

Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.   Eph 2:2-3

Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them.  I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.  I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.  John 10:7-11

When I asked a friend in my despair, “why didn’t God prevent it? why didn’t He do anything?” it occurred to me that He did do something, Jesus went to the cross. I may never understand why I had to suffer what I did, but I know what I would have been like if He had never gone to that cross for me. He sought me out, He gave me a desire to seek Him. He delivered me and He saved me from being the same as the people that abused me. Some of the people that were abused as children abuse children themselves when they get older. He also kept me from being locked in a prison of hate and bitterness. For years i just wanted the people that abused me to die, i hated them enough to kill them myself, its only by the grace of God that i didnt. God asking me to forgive my enemies doesnt mean nothing will happen to them, rather it means i can leave it in God’s hands and not keep carrying it myself, it was killing me too.

God’s judgement upon people that molest children or rape people is very great:

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!  It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.   Luke 17:1-2

And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.  Mark 9:42

If it would be better for them to be drowned in the sea with a millstone tied to their neck, then their punishment is far worse than that. It is not that they will be drowned and die and be done with it all. Except they repent, they will be punished eternally.

Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you;  And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,  In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:  Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;   2 Thess 1:6-9

The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;  And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.   Matt 13:41-42

that is why Jesus said:

…and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;   Matt 5:44

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt 6:14-15

Forgiveness does not mean that you put yourself in a position to be hurt again, it does not say that you weren’t hurt. It does mean though that we say something like this to the Lord, “Father forgive them, I release them from the debt they owe me, the debt that is very great and deserving of eternal damnation. I have sinned in my life and need Your forgiveness, so in obedience I forgive those that have harmed me. I forgive them in word Lord, help my heart to be changed so that I am able to forgive as You would have me to, from the heart. Take my anger so I am not consumed by it, help me to not be poisoned by unforgiveness and hate.”

Someone once told me that resentment is like you drink poison and hope the other guy dies. When I walked in anger and hatred of a person that had injured me greatly, it didn’t bother him at all. He still went on in his sin and had a seemingly great life no matter what he did. When he woke up in the morning he didn’t feel any remorse or even think of what he had done to me or others, he just went about his life as usual. But I became more and more angry and resentful, I would wake up and dwell on it all day, I became bitter and depressed. I finally forgave him for purely selfish motives. I decided to be obedient, forgiving because the bible said I had to, (I knew I needed forgiveness for myself,) and I forgave so that I could be free. I forgave others and left the decision of their redemption up to the One who alone can judge righteously.

When I thought of my abuser being forgiven and being up in heaven I hated the idea of ever having to see him again. When my friend said she was praying he would come to repentance i got really mad because i wouldnt want to be in heaven with someone like him. My friend said to me, if he does really repent he won’t be the same person, he will be transformed into someone like Jesus, he will be a new creation, because nothing evil can enter into heaven. Jesus thought of everything!

One day I was thinking about another person who had non violently molested me in a way that made me feel wanted and loved when I was younger. I didn’t know it was wrong at the time it happened, I was too young to know. When I turned older I realized it was wrong and I felt horrible, and very angry at the person. The Lord showed me that that was why I was so promiscuous, the person who abused me had taught me and given it to me. Then the Lord said, “someone gave it to him also at some point in his life. And someone gave it to the person that gave it to him also, and you can trace it all the way back to the beginning of mankind, when the devil gave it to someone back there.”

Forgiveness did not come miraculously and instantly to me. I listened to Corrie Ten Boom describe how that after she had given a message about Jesus and forgiveness there came up to her a guard that had hurt her and her sister in the concentration camp and asked for her forgiveness. She said she prayed in her heart, Lord I cannot do it, I cannot forgive, but I must for I need Your forgiveness, please make me able. She was able then to forgive in word and the Lord worked more with her on this later until she was able to truly forgive from her heart. I know that probably today or tomorrow or next month or next year I will sin again and I will need His forgiveness, so I press on with Him, willing to let Him do a work in me so that I can truly forgive from the heart. I have no desire to ever see my abusers (violent or non violent) again and I don’t know if they will find repentance or not. I pray that they will be forgiven and leave that up to my heavenly Father. I bring my inner wound that was so severely injured to Jesus and let Him pour in His healing love. His perfect love that casts out fear and washes over my woundedness. I choose to forgive because I need forgiveness. It is a process sometimes, but I know I am on the right path headed to an eternal place where:

Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.  They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.  For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.     Rev 7:15-17