REPENT!!! (you tried that already?)

For years, I knew God was “up there” and knew when I died I was going to be in certain trouble. Then I heard about Jesus dying for my sins and I asked Him to forgive me. He was still “up there” but I thought when I died somehow I wouldn’t be in quite so much trouble.

Next, several years later, I got baptized in water for the remission of my sins. That was awesome! I felt clean and totally forgiven. The problem was though, that I continued to sin in some areas of my life and no one was willing to baptize me every month. I had no power to change.

Also I didn’t think that God was interested in my life personally, i just figured He was pretty disappointed. After all He is a big God who is very busy running kingdoms and throne rooms, I thought.

People would always tell me I needed to quit what I was doing and the way I was living. Well that used to make me angry because I already knew that! How to change I had no idea.

One night when all the stores were closed, before 7-11 was invented, I ran out of alcohol. I was having very bad dt’s and so I decided to break into the neighbors house, they always left their door unlocked. I knew they were christians but I figured they would have some good christian cooking wine! When I got inside I noticed they were hunters and had guns, if the old man hadn’t been snoring I might not be here today. His wife woke up while I was banging around the cupboards though. She came out into the kitchen and instead of shooting me, she told me that Jesus loved me and that he had the power to change me. She said it didn’t matter that I couldn’t, that Jesus had the power and it was in the Holy Spirit and all I had to do was ask Him. My life was so messed up by that time I was desperate to try anything. I actually prayed, Jesus I need you, I don’t even care if you turn me into an airhead christian, please help me. And He did. That woman prayed that I would be filled with the Holy Spirit and all my withdrawals quit instantly. Even more amazing than that, I had this tremendous love in my heart, I was full of peace and I knew that God really did love me, even me. I felt an ocean of God’s love and acceptance. that woman gave me a bible.

I went home and started reading it, I decided I would just ignore everything anyone had ever told me about Jesus and read the thing myself. boy was I surprised.

The bible says Jesus left the riches of heaven to be born a man. to know exactly what it was like to be you and me. To be acquainted with sorrow and grief, to be an outcast, to be used and abused.

I had no idea what Jesus was really like. I wasn’t raised in a church, I don’t know their songs or when to stand or sit, I don’t know nothing much about church at all. But I read the bible myself to see. I didn’t read it to get smart, or figure out how to do stuff in church, I read it to see what He was like. Did he yell at people? did he ever laugh? I read it like it was a play on stage, Jesus enters stage left, speaks to scandalous woman at a well, on her way to her sixth husband. And He wasn’t yelling at her, He was kind and helpful! He showed her the right way to the Father in heaven.

Before that night, I had often met people that had been following the Lord for years and they were downtrodden and sad. they were burnt out, but trying very hard to do what God “expected” them to do. I would think about the part in the bible where Jesus said “My yoke is easy.” and the part about the fruit of the Spirit, “peace, love, joy.”

A lot of christians I had met didn’t have much of these things at all. When I was younger and heard about Jesus, it seemed miserable to me, but I was willing to try becoming a christian, sad and grumping all the way.

Once in the late 80’s I met some Russian immigrants in our town, they spoke almost zero english and they couldn’t read it either. Often people would give them food and clothing. Once when I was at their house, I noticed that the mother opened a box of macaroni and cheese, threw out the envelope inside, and cooked the pasta. She didn’t know that in the envelope was the cheese! That woman must have thought “those americans are crazy always raving about macaroni and cheese!” I always thought christians were crazy raving about a life in Jesus.

The Lord showed me that christians often throw out the envelope with the cheese in it! The power of the Holy Spirit, and the fruit of the Spirit!

” Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.” Zech 4:6

 

When I asked Jesus to fill me with the Holy Spirit I had joy, and peace and sooo much love, I found an easy yoke in following Him. Phewwww, cause I could never make it any other way!

 

I finally found what i had been searching for my whole life. I began to read the bible and found this written in the old testament:

In Ezekiel 36:17-18 it says:
Son of man, when the house of Israel dwelt in their own land, they defiled it by their own way and by their doings… Wherefore I poured my fury upon them …    Ezek 36:17-18

 

Then shortly after that passage it goes on to give a preview of a new kind of grace. God says:

…I will take you from among the heathen… Ezek 36:24

 

Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.  A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.     Ezek 36:25-27

 

The part about His putting His Spirit in me and causing me to walk in His statues, and me keeping his judgements really got my attention. and He showed me His call to Jeremiah:

But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.    Jer 1:7

 

When I read that scripture that the Lord gave to Jeremiah, I saw that He didn’t say, “will you?” or “I command you to” He said, “you shall”. It is a prophecy, not a request. I had hope for the first time in my life. It wouldn’t be up to me, it would be Jesus doing it through me!

 

The Lord showed me these scriptures also:

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.    Phil 2:13

 

This is written of Jesus:

Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God.     Heb 10:7

 

I remember saying something to Jesus like, “I hope you
know what you are getting into, I always choose wrong, I can’t change myself, you will have to do it all, even cause me to walk rightly, I can’t do it myself.”

 

He showed me these:

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Matt 28:18

 

Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.  And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.  If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.    John 8:34-36

 

One day I was reading nothing in particular in the old testament and I saw this story about a man that was afraid to admit he was married because his wife was beautiful and he feared the men of the area would kill him to take her. The king of the area did take her, thinking she was not married. God appeared to that king in a dream, and said he should restore the woman or face punishment:

But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man’s wife.  But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?  Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.  And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.    Gen 20:3-6

“…for I also withheld thee from sinning against me…” Gen 20:6

 

God kept him from sinning! He is so able! Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins, He is able to do that for even me, who does not often have “integrity of heart!”

 

Going back to the prophecy in Ezekiel 36:

Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.  A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.     Ezek 36:25-27

 

That is more than just one thing He is saying He will do.

1) cleaning us with water: cleaning us from our filthiness by water baptism

2)giving us a new heart: being born again because we believe in Jesus’ atonement for our sins by His blood

3) being filled with His Spirit: It is Jesus that baptizes people with the Holy Spirit.

 

The disciple John writes:

For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.  And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.     1 John 5:7-8

 

If we go to the book of Acts in the new testament, Paul has come to Ephesus and finding certain disciples:

And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples,  He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost.  And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John’s baptism. Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.  And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.     Acts 19:1-6

 

That was three different baptism’s! The Baptism of John for repentance and a clean conscience toward God, Baptized in Jesus name for the remission of sins and being a new creation in Christ Jesus, and Baptized in the Holy Spirit.

 

As Jesus said:

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:     Matt 28:19

 

And Jesus said to the disciples:

But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you…   Acts 1:8

And Jesus also said:

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.  If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Luke 11:9-13